A common concern among many denture wearers is: How will my dentures affect my dating life? This is a legitimate concern. I mean, the real-estate that your dentures take up happens to be in a pretty intimate location.
Smiling, laughing, talking, kissing, more talking, more smiling, more laughing, repeatâ€”no wonder there is so much anxiety associated with the prospect of dating with dentures!
Some just aren’t eager to get into the “denture dialogue” before they’ve even gotten to know the potential mate. I am an open book and never shy away at the chance to tell others about my experienceâ€”but there are times even I am like, “Ugh, I really don’t feel like getting into it”. I can think back on times i’ve been in a rush or been focused on other more important things and someone would compliment my smile and as how I keep it so whiteâ€¦ and it isn’t that I didn’t want to disclose the information, not at all! It’s just that, sometimes, it totally highjacks a situation.
For instance. I was in labor with my daughter and the nurses were going over my medical history. It got to the point that they asked about previous surgeries, to which, I mentioned I had dental surgery. I was hoping they would leave it at that but they wanted to know to what extent my dental surgery was. So I told them I had all of my teeth pulled. They were shocked. I understand, completely. Hey, good news for you, they had no idea! But people become curious and that’s fine by me, just not when I am contracting every two to three minutes! I ended up giving them the whole backstory, just trying to be polite. It threw everything they/we were doing through a loop.
Most people would like to avoid that while on a date. You’re out to eat, you’re having light, flirty conversation, can you imagine talking about your extraction process and nightly cleaning regimen? Can you seriously see yourself explaining the slow, agonizing decline of your oral health over candlelit dinner for two?
No! No, no, no, no, no.
So it’s totally natural to be apprehensive in taking someone up on the offer of meeting up for dinner. Especially if you add in the fact that you’re concerned your teeth might fall out, or worse, that the two of you will kiss and they’ll run for the hills!
First, let’s discuss ‘first impression’. When you first say hello, will they be able to tell up front that something is off? To answer that question, here’s a scenario:
When you buy a new car, do you not suddenly begin to notice all of the other cars like yours on the road? You never saw so many Acadia’s until you purchased one, right? No, they aren’t copying youâ€”you have just become more aware of their presence now that you have one.
Most people are not on the look-out for denture wearers. As much as it may seem that your date is determined to detect your dentures, that’s almost certainly not the case. For one, most everyone has the first-date jitters. Everything is sort of a blur, you can’t really focus on too much at once. Your date may notice you have an attractive smile but I doubt they have the time or even the opportunity to fully inspect the situation. So at first glance, unless your denture is as out-of-place looking as a doggie denture, i’m sure they’ve probably not noticed anything out-of-the-ordinary.
Can they detect it when you are laughing? Well, let’s be real, here. When someone laughs, can you detect strange things going on with their palate? Probably not. I know the denture palate is smooth and unnatural but this is not something that can be easily detected when someone is laughing. Personally, I have always been more drawn to the teeth when someone laughs. I may spot out a cavity or what not but never in my life have I been drawn to ones’ palate, that’s just sort of weird. If anyone inspects anything while you are laughing, they will probably just end up admiring the fact that you don’t have cavities.
But what if, during the course of the typical dating scenario, they do catch onto the fact that you wear dentures? What if they call you out on it?
Well, for one, that’s weird. Back to the cavity situation, would you call someone out for having a cavity? How strange is that? When most people imagine their date possibly discovering that they wear dentures, they don’t really delve too much into possible scenarios. Think about it. If your date discovered that you wore dentures, what exactly are they going to do with that information? If they ask you about it, they risk looking sort of nutty. So most likely, they will not really acknowledge it. If they don’t call you back, well, that’s that. Next! Consider it courtesy that they are not wasting your time. If they do call you back, obviously your denture is not a problem.
So, what about kissing? Will they know? I have no idea. I’ve not kissed someone with dentures. My husband insists that he could never feel a difference when we kissed. My husband is a sweetheart and would never want to make me feel uncomfortable. My husband wants to kiss me. Why would he say, “Yeah, I felt a bunch of plastic and it was weird”? That would make kissing awkward for both of us. So, being the gentleman that he is, he’s always stood firm in his position: he can’t feel a thing, whether he can or can’t. This goes back to the ‘first impression’ scenario. If your date can feel something, what are they going to do? Ask you about it? Well, in this situation, they mightâ€¦ but that would mean they must not have been very into the kiss if they would disrupt it with a boatload of questions about your mouth. Right? I mean, that’s my logic. If they are into you and they are into kissing you, chances are, they aren’t going to stop a kiss to investigate your set-up.
Will dentures affect your ability to kiss? Well, that depends. Do your dentures affect your ability to eat or talk? If so, they may. If your dentures pop out or flop around in other situations, they will probably do the same whilst kissing. Of course this depends on how involved your kissing technique is. Adhesive is advisable, just in case. You could always take it back to the old school and practice kissing on the back of your hand! I kid, I kid.
Many people would also like to know how dentures will affect the more intimate moments, if you know what I mean. As with kissing, the only scenario you have to worry about is if you have a problem with loose dentures. Your dentures aren’t going to “hurt” anyone, if that’s what you’re worried about.
Overall, dentures should not interfere with your dating life. Yes, you may meet someone who is uncomfortable dating you because of your dentures.
You may also meet someone who is uncomfortable dating you because you don’t drive a Lexus.
You may also meet someone who is uncomfortable dating you because you aren’t in a band.
You may also meet someone who is uncomfortable dating you because your hair isn’t long enough.
Do you see where i’m going with this? People are either going to want to pursue you or they’re not. If they aren’t feeling it, keep moving!
I will end on this note: confidence is everything. If you appear to be self-conscious, that is the vibe you are going to let off. If you are insecure about your dentures, it may be apparent that something is off about you. No, that doesn’t mean they will be able to identify your denturesâ€¦ it just means that they may know you are acting weird about something. Whether or not you disclose your dental status is your business. You can laugh and be confident without feeling that you have to let them in on your dental history. But over time, as the two of you become closer, I would hope you build a relationship on mutual trust and understanding. Nothing is worse than lugging around a deep, dark secret. I’ve exchanged messages with those who either were discovered or had to come clean after years and years of being with their partner. It may seem insignificant to you, but it could really make the other party feel betrayed in a sense.
But during the fun stages, there’s no real reason to have to state up front that you are a denture wearer unless you feel compelled to. Most will probably not be able to tell that you wear dentures and if they can, there’s a strong possibility that they wouldn’t utter a word about it. Kissing and being intimate should not be affected unless your dentures are loose. Have fun, be confident and save the medical history for another day.